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Possessive relationships       By Haydn Dunn

 

  

Let me start with some basics about the issue of jealousy and its twin sister, possessiveness.

The top three mistakes that men make with women are:

1- Coming on too heavy too soon.
2- Never standing up and saying "no" when appropriate.
3- Being jealous and possessive.

Both men and women can be jealous and possessive, but men seem to be the worst offenders in this area. Countless guys have ruined great relationship with their partners by being jealous. Jealous behavior lowers the woman's respect for the man and also lowers her romantic Interest Level in him. Why? Because she experiences him as being out of control, insecure and fearful. (All jealousy is based on fear: fear of loss)
A little jealousy ironically can go a long way. Women (and men) like being loved and wanted and a secure arm round the waist drawing you in can be great fun. Small amounts of jealousy (very small in a playful way) can be attractive and sexy. But its knowing when things have gone too far that matters

 There are many reasons why men are becoming more possessive in today's society and we all have our own theories. It is possible that with the rise of women in the workplace and in determining their own independence financially and socially, that men feel increasingly threatened.

 

A strong and confident man knows and trusts that his woman is loyal and that she has high Interest in him. He does not stay in a relationship with a woman who isn't loyal and doesn't have high Interest in him. He has no fear that he will lose his woman to another man. He doesn't feel as if he has to check up on her or that he can't leave her alone for five minutes. He is protective toward his woman without being possessive. He knows that one human being can never own another human being and that "slavery is illegal."
Now although many aspects of a relationship may be shared, he also treasures his girlfriend's independence and her assured separate set of values, as she does in him. Relationships are about sharing but also about retaining freedom of self expression and personal identity. Relationships are also about innate trust.

So to my female readers who’s looking on, beware of these signs of your jealousy and possessiveness with your men

Danger Signs:
• Dismay and suggestions as to how you should dress
• Overly concerned about where you are going when socializing
• Insistence on escorting you to mundane places
• Interference with your social plans
• Excessive phone calls to know your whereabouts
• Overly intense nature to anything
• Inability to communicate and discuss
• Putting you down and anything that makes you feel inferior
• Lack of outlook and poor self-esteem or lack of confidence
• Dominant overtones in domestic arrangements
• Aggressive temper and unreasonable attitude to minor details


Slavery was abolished since 1833, so I think if your in a possessive relationship my advice to you is “ride out” and this goes to anyone male or female… because jealously leads to possessiveness which leads to infatuation and then that leads to an abusive relationship .. trust me !!! its better you start a new chapter in your life ...

 

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