Haydn Dunn's Articles

What is L-O-V-E       By Haydn Dunn

 

What is love? don't you just wish you could have the exact answer, some people say its caring mixed with trust and compromise... well we don't exactly know what is love since it can be blind at times or sometimes wonder "why am I or was I in love"?

Types of Love

 

Romantic love --this lover thinks constantly about the loved one, is jealous, unrealistic, will tolerate anything, is sexually attracted by physical appearance, needs repeated reassurance he/she is loved in return. Typically lasts a few months or a few years, some anthropologists say it lasts 4 years, i.e. until the baby is through nursing and can walk and run. Then the love bond releases the more powerful males to find another female to impregnate with his genes. 

Best friend or companionate love --this lover enjoys the companionship and intimacy of a close friendship. It is a comfortable, slowly developing, trusting, committed relationship, not intense excitement, desperation, or sexual obsessions. 

Unselfish love --the lover is devoted and self-sacrificing to the loved one, gives without expecting anything in return, is gentle, caring, and dutiful. 

Logical love --the lover carefully selects the "right person" logically, looking for someone with compatible interests, similar education and religion, a harmonious personality, common values, and long-term goals. 

Game-playing love --this person may be charming but is hardly a lover; he/she merely enjoys the dating game. He/she relishes the meeting, the impressing, the seducing, the challenge of a conquest but usually makes it clear there is little or no long-term commitment to the other person. 
 

There are other kinds of loves and lovers, of course, like the one who searches for a physical ideal--a great body or some specific bodily feature--or the one who is so possessive he/she wants to control the other person and gets physically sick or depressed or does foolish things when the relationship seems threatened

The Dimensions of LOVE  

 

Type of Love	Intimacy	Passion	Commitment
Casual friendships/non-love	No	No	No
Liking--very good friends	Yes	No	No
Infatuation	No	Yes	No (only temporary)
Empty "love"	No	No	Yes
Romantic love	Yes	Yes	No (only temporary)
Companionate love	Yes	No	Yes
Fatuous love/whirlwind courtships	No	Yes	Yes
Consummate love	Yes	Yes	Yes

 

 

Definition  

 

Intimacy = baring souls, sharing, liking, and bonding (a slowly developing emotional-interpersonal involvement, as in a friendship).

 

Passion = sexual attraction (an instant or quickly developing motivation or addiction which usually declines over the years to a stable level).

 

Commitment = stable, dependable devotion (a slowly developing cognitive decision to stick by the other person in bad times, as in a marriage).

 

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